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A Maid of Honor is traditionally the Brides ‘chief’ bridesmaid. Responsible for keeping the bride calm, assisting with wedding planning, bridal and bridesmaids robes or other dress shopping and coordinating the other bridesmaids. In our modern era, the tradition of the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids comes from socio-economic settings, wanting our close friends by our side to celebrate our wedding.

If we look even further back in history at the origin of the Maid of Honor, we find it actually dates back to medieval times, where a bride would turn up to her wedding with her ‘maid’. Not a friend in those days, a handmaiden or a slave, however, they performed the same role in helping to prepare the bride for her big day and to be by her side at the altar.

A Maid of Honor is traditionally an unmarried bridesmaid and the title changes to Matron of Honor if the woman is married.

So do you need to allocate this title to one of your bridesmaids, or can they just all be ‘bridesmaids’?

There is no rule book when it comes to weddings and traditions that you should or shouldn’t follow. It really comes down to your personal preference which will be influenced by your friends and family, what type of wedding you want and in many ways, your circle of friends. If you have a stand out a close girlfriend who is a best friend and been through many life events with you, then it might be nice to honour and acknowledge this special relationship by giving her the title that differentiates her from the other bridesmaids.

Even without the title, when you have a group do friends and organising to do, one person will naturally take on a leadership role, so if you have two close friends and you are worried of insulting one by not making then the Maid of Honour, then calling them all bridesmaids do avoid this confrontation.

You could, of course, have two Maid of Honors if you really wanted, after all, there is no rule book on what your wedding has to look like (unless of course, you have family or religious traditions you have to follow), so if you wanted two, go for it! However it is a more formal tradition of a wedding, so if you want to follow it, it might be unlikely that you want to break that tradition by naming two of this important title.

Whatever you decide to call your friends who will stand by you on your big day, make sure you select them for the right reasons, people who love and support you and will help you with the stress of planning and the nerves of getting ready and walking down the aisle on your big day. Having the right people by your side is more important than the title you allocate to them for the wedding day.

Ten years ago the thought of even contemplating not having wedding flowers would have resulted in shocked gasps of dismay for such a traditional piece of the wedding day, however as weddings get more modern and actually aligned with the wants and needs of brides and grooms, many people are starting to turn their backs on the traditional requirement of flower bouquets.

The shift is occurring for a number of reasons. Firstly, flowers are expensive. And wedding floral packages can get up to the tens of thousands of dollars, especially if you are also using them as decoration and table pieces. For many budget-conscious brides and grooms, spending this kind of money is just not an option for a piece of the wedding that essentially dies and is thrown in the bin (barring a few kept to be dried or stored for sentimental reasons).

Another reason brides are bucking the bouquets is that traditions are changing and your wedding is such an expression of your style and love, that many of the traditional wedding events seem out of place and are questioned by many modern brides. Traditionally, back in the 15^th/16^th century, the wedding bouquet was held by the bride to ward off evil spirits (often containing herbs and garlic alongside the flowers) because, well personal hygiene wasn’t amazing back then so the smell of flowers masked the bride’s personal aroma. Delightful!

While the tradition of flowers is still strong and alive for most weddings these days, stinky brides aren’t one of the reasons! They are mainly still favored just because they are beautiful to look at, can help tie a wedding colour scheme together and because they prevent the awkward ‘what do I do with my hands’ conundrum facing many brides walking down that long aisle!

Do you need them for your wedding? Well, that is a personal choice and only a decision you can make, but some alternatives are artificial arrangements, which you can keep forever, felt floral arrangements or rustic branches and flowers from the location of your big day (works especially well if you are having an outdoor rustic vintage wedding).

If flowers are a big part of your day, start planning early and if you have your heart set on a certain type that has caught your eye on Pinterest, then research early on. Many flowers are seasonal and depending on the time of year of your wedding, they may not be available. Also, decide what part flowers are going to play in your big day and set a budget and stick to it. It is easy to get caught up in the planning and the ideal reception covered in flower garlands and arches decorated in your chosen florals underneath which you say ‘I do’ however this doesn’t come cheap! Leave enough time that you can find substitutes if your floral wedding dreams are turning into a small mortgage! Things like feathers and cheaper fillers like ferns are making a comeback and can provide your floral dreams at a fraction of the cost.

As with other parts of the wedding, don’t let the flowers stress you! After all, as long as you and your partner are there together on the day declaring love and spending the rest of your life together, your choice (or not) of flowers really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things.

For both brides who have large circles of friends and for those brides who have only a few close friends, the dilemma and decision of how many bridesmaids you should have on your wedding day is one of the first decisions in the wedding planning calendar that causes many brides much stress and angst!

For brides with smaller circles, the decision is easy and causes no angst, providing the groom is also in agreeance with the number. If the groom has more friends who he wants as groomsmen, the bride with a small circle can get stressed trying to fill the numbers to partner up the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

For the bride with a large circle of friends, the decision is one that can cause issues in friendships, where do you draw the line on how many girlfriends to include in your bridal party?

Our formula and advice we give brides who are struggling with the decision are based on objectivity. The two factors we recommend brides look at are the wedding budget and the size of the wedding.

Wedding Budget:

You need to factor into your budget who is paying for the bridesmaid robes and gifts and hair and makeup. If you are, then you need to work out how much it costs to have one bridesmaid and then work how many your budget can handle. On average, brides spend around $500 per bridesmaid, so that quickly can deter from wanting five bridesmaids when you are looking at an additional $2500!

Wedding Size:

Your bridesmaid and bridal party ratio should reflect that of how many guests you are inviting. For example, if you are having an intimate wedding with 50 guests, turning up with 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen can look out of place considering the bridal party is one-fifth of the guests! On the other hand, a wedding with 250 guests, doesn’t look out of place with a large bridal party. Using your number of weddings guests is a nice quick and easy and objective guide to keeping your wedding in proportion.

Using these two measures can provide a really easy, objective and non-emotional way of deciding how many people to have in your bridal party.

However, like everything with weddings, it is your day and all the decisions are for you to make. You shouldn’t be swayed by opinions or traditions if you have your heart set on something. There is no right or wrong way of doing things, and you are the one that has to be happy and content with the outcome.